Milestones

Today is a big day for me. My daughters first birthday, a big milestone not only for her but also for me. My best friend Gemma said to me this morning 'hurrah, we both survived the first year of having two kids' and if I'm honest that pretty much sums up my feelings about today. I am so over the moon to be celebrating my little girls first birthday; but yet I also feel tinged with sadness. John and I are so happy with our little family of four and we do feel very complete; but the mother hen in me will always yearn for a pregnancy and a baby. I just love the newborn moments; nursing a baby, skin to skin, breathing in their smell. Unfortunately, those moments are so fleeting. They are gone in a flash and in many ways I would just love to do it over and over. My heart and head are dancing to two very different songs, and as much as I would love to spend a decade with a newborn against my chest, realistically two is the right number for us at this time. I feel that I am going through a grieving process knowing that this may be the last time I get to experience the magic of my baby's first birthday. 

With the sadness of that grief comes the happiness of seeing my daughter grow and gain independence. Before my very eyes I can see her turn into a real little girl and I couldn't be more proud of the person she is growing into. She is fiesty, fun and fearless and I love her to the moon and back.

Happy birthday Bryony May!